Enders game

I forget sometimes.

I forget why I deal with the crap I deal with.

All the money spent.

The time lost.

The aggravation ,

Frustration ,

Stress,

And sleepless nights.

I look at this whole "college situation" as inconvenient . I'm spending all this money (my parents and myself), working this hard, getting this stressed to earn a piece of paper that doesn't promise me anything.

It doesn't promise me a future.

Doesn't promise me a job.

It doesn't promise me even one thing. all it is, is proof that for four years , four long hard years I worked my ass off to be able to say that I specialize in something.

It's a lot, sometimes.

I go through mental breakdowns where I question what is or is not worth it. I try to decide if what I'm doing is what I want - or if it's my proof that I'm not a screw up. That I can succeed .

There is always that moment, though.

That moment where you remember why it is you are breaking your neck, bank, and sleeping habits. You remember what you're paying for, what you're stressing for, what you're fighting for and you remember that ,at the endof the day,

It IS worth it.

For those of you who didn't know, I want to be a film maker. It is my goal to specialize in special effects and computer animation- and today, for the first time in a long time, I saw a movie that reminded me.

Reminded me of why I want to do film.

Why I wanted to fight hard.

Stress tons.

Sleep little.

Why I did te things I did, paid the thousands I had to pay and why I don't regret ANY of it.

Film is my passion. It is my heart-

More then anything I want to recreate ideas, take people to other worlds, change perception , create new species. ... Imagination is the key to all creation.

And I, TJ want to create.

Keeping your eye on your passion keeps your drive in check. Keeps your goals in check. 

Keeping an eye on your passion is the key to absolute success.

If you drive hard, the only person that can stop you is yourself.

I intend to drive .