Work.. Work... Work

I use to love working.

Not in a- "this is the best thing ever" sort of way, but more of a - "I could probably be content doing this for the rest of my life if I had no choice but to" Type of thing.

I always hear people complaining that "work is hard" and it depresses them,though I would personally never go that far... 

work is work.

Work is effort.

Work is trying.

And, goodness, college has brought some sort of lazy out of me.

A job I use to love, I can't stand.

Customers I use to care about, they drive me nuts. Everything gets repetitive, every complaint gets constant, and the patient side of me realizes that THIS is probably the first time this person ever made that complaint- but that doesn't make it the first time I've heard it.

I'm pulling out my hair, over here!

Trying as hard as I can to be patient and understanding but when my mind has decided it's done with something, my body reacts like it is.

It's tough.

It's selfish.

We as human beings are meant to love each other even when we feel like we cannot. We are suppose to wait for each other even when we know that's going to make us farther behind.

It is such a struggle for me to remember this every day.

Then it I occurred to me.

I don't want to have a job I hate- doing things I hate so often I begin to hate the things I LOVE.

I want to love my job again.

I want to love the people I serve.

I want to love being good at what I do.

I want to be PASSIONATE about what I may or may not make a career out of.

Work is work.

That is absolute.

But life is also loving- and the two should REALLY go hand in hand.

Finding your passion

Back in middle school, and up through high school I witnessed hundreds of people breaking their backs, banks, and sanity fighting for one goal.

Though sometimes the goals were similar, more times then none - each of the people I witnessed were fightig for their own dream with their own success point in mind. 

For Why? I didn't get it! 

I've spent my whole life playing sports, instruments, singing, dancing, trying as much as I could while I could- and never , not once, did I ever feel PASSIONATE about any of it! Sure, some of it was fun, some of it I was phenomenal at- but never did I feel connected. Never did I feel like it was something I would work any harder for. 

As I got a bit older, my mentality changed and I began to just think all these people were crazy. 

My cousin, one of the ones I grew up with, was accepted to Stanford on a full ride football scholarship. He gave up eating fast food, he studied his ass off, worked out harder and longer then ALL of his high school teammates and friends-

The dude was nuts. 

I was impressed by what he had accomplished, but dumbfounded at the decisions he had to make - and all the delicious food he had to give up! No way!

Ultimately, I thought it was absolutely foolish. Have a dream, but don't lose yourself in it.

That's were I was wrong.

If you're going to have a dream, then you should lose yourself in it.

You should be crazy for it.

Passionate , even.

Three months ago, I went to my first practice for the womens rugby team. As I walked on the pitch for the first time I would have never thought I would have fallen so in love with the sport. 

There is no feeling like destroying someone in a tackle, being so in shape that you know (and get to use) the exact capabilities of your body;

Getting faster.

Getting stronger.

Getting better.

I happily go to conditioning after 8 hour work days, sprinting my butt off- practicing harder then I ever did for any other sport I played.

It's different though.

Unlike for softball, or soccer, or violin, or singing, or dancing- I didn't walk out on the pitch naturally talented, or naturally good.

I've had to work my ass off to get better.

Every day I get better, every day I work harder, every day I give even more.

I am by NO means the best player on my team, I'm not the most talented rookie, 

But I am so passionate about this.

I'm so in love with this quick pased, violent sport. And I will work hard at it until the last time I walk off that pitch. 

Find your passion.

Find the something you want to push for, fight for, and succeed in.

Lose yourself, lose every inch of yourself in what you love.

Otherwise, what's the point.

-TJ