Work.. Work... Work

I use to love working.

Not in a- "this is the best thing ever" sort of way, but more of a - "I could probably be content doing this for the rest of my life if I had no choice but to" Type of thing.

I always hear people complaining that "work is hard" and it depresses them,though I would personally never go that far... 

work is work.

Work is effort.

Work is trying.

And, goodness, college has brought some sort of lazy out of me.

A job I use to love, I can't stand.

Customers I use to care about, they drive me nuts. Everything gets repetitive, every complaint gets constant, and the patient side of me realizes that THIS is probably the first time this person ever made that complaint- but that doesn't make it the first time I've heard it.

I'm pulling out my hair, over here!

Trying as hard as I can to be patient and understanding but when my mind has decided it's done with something, my body reacts like it is.

It's tough.

It's selfish.

We as human beings are meant to love each other even when we feel like we cannot. We are suppose to wait for each other even when we know that's going to make us farther behind.

It is such a struggle for me to remember this every day.

Then it I occurred to me.

I don't want to have a job I hate- doing things I hate so often I begin to hate the things I LOVE.

I want to love my job again.

I want to love the people I serve.

I want to love being good at what I do.

I want to be PASSIONATE about what I may or may not make a career out of.

Work is work.

That is absolute.

But life is also loving- and the two should REALLY go hand in hand.

Finding your passion

Back in middle school, and up through high school I witnessed hundreds of people breaking their backs, banks, and sanity fighting for one goal.

Though sometimes the goals were similar, more times then none - each of the people I witnessed were fightig for their own dream with their own success point in mind. 

For Why? I didn't get it! 

I've spent my whole life playing sports, instruments, singing, dancing, trying as much as I could while I could- and never , not once, did I ever feel PASSIONATE about any of it! Sure, some of it was fun, some of it I was phenomenal at- but never did I feel connected. Never did I feel like it was something I would work any harder for. 

As I got a bit older, my mentality changed and I began to just think all these people were crazy. 

My cousin, one of the ones I grew up with, was accepted to Stanford on a full ride football scholarship. He gave up eating fast food, he studied his ass off, worked out harder and longer then ALL of his high school teammates and friends-

The dude was nuts. 

I was impressed by what he had accomplished, but dumbfounded at the decisions he had to make - and all the delicious food he had to give up! No way!

Ultimately, I thought it was absolutely foolish. Have a dream, but don't lose yourself in it.

That's were I was wrong.

If you're going to have a dream, then you should lose yourself in it.

You should be crazy for it.

Passionate , even.

Three months ago, I went to my first practice for the womens rugby team. As I walked on the pitch for the first time I would have never thought I would have fallen so in love with the sport. 

There is no feeling like destroying someone in a tackle, being so in shape that you know (and get to use) the exact capabilities of your body;

Getting faster.

Getting stronger.

Getting better.

I happily go to conditioning after 8 hour work days, sprinting my butt off- practicing harder then I ever did for any other sport I played.

It's different though.

Unlike for softball, or soccer, or violin, or singing, or dancing- I didn't walk out on the pitch naturally talented, or naturally good.

I've had to work my ass off to get better.

Every day I get better, every day I work harder, every day I give even more.

I am by NO means the best player on my team, I'm not the most talented rookie, 

But I am so passionate about this.

I'm so in love with this quick pased, violent sport. And I will work hard at it until the last time I walk off that pitch. 

Find your passion.

Find the something you want to push for, fight for, and succeed in.

Lose yourself, lose every inch of yourself in what you love.

Otherwise, what's the point.

-TJ 

Adventure Craving

Adventures are my favorite. 

Give me a car, give me a sleeping bag, give me ten dollars- and ill see you in two weeks. 

I am all about experiencing the world God created us in, and traveling through it to see as much of it as i can WHILE i can. Its hard for me to comprehend just why others would spend their whole lives sitting in one corner of this huge planet, and never see what else it has to offer. 

I do not want to pass away, look down and see exactly what i missed out on. I want to have lived every second of it. 

But to each their own. Some people really thrive in their little corner of the world. 

Maybe they make a name for themselves.

Maybe they make a life.

A family. 

Happy is happy, and for each person that looks a little bit different- which i respect.

But for me, and in my mind- I WANT TO SEE THE WORLD.

Thats the adventure side of me. 

So, as you may know from a previous blog post, I just recently started college. 

And I am Struggling. 

Unfortunately, due to my financial situation, I am working 40 hours, going to school full time, and attempting to make time for my rugby practice (another post for another time). 

Significance in these facts? I am ALWAYS busy. 

I sleep maybe four hours a day (if im lucky),

I very rarely see my friends,

I dont have time to clean (but really, who's complaining)

And I only have time for take-out but dont make enough money to  purchase it while maintaining my financial stability. 

Out of some blessing from God, though- i had free time today after church and was luckily able to go on my first official "College Adventure". 

A friend of mine and I went up to a mountain about 45 minutes from campus. It was spur of the moment, and probably a stupid idea.

Why?

We'll, as I've said in earlier posts ; I am on my university's rugby team. (A sport which is easy to love) and in loving this sport I lovingly sprained part of the arches in BOTH of my feet... With love.

So why was I, someone who probably should have been icing my jacked up feetsies, out on a mountain side jumping from rock to rock with those feet and practice in the morning ?

Because.Yolo.

Kidding! But really, after a week of working, of studying, of practicing, of PEOPLE it was nice to be on a mountain, to be away from everything, and to feel calm. 

 

Only. I'm not calm.

I think I may have scared my friend a bit. A lot of the people are used to me being stressed . Tired. Or pissed.

Which I'm not naturally.

I was dancing, and waving my arms irrationally. Standing on rocks screaming

"IM UGLY!!! AND IM PROUD!"

(Sponge bob reference, anybody?) 

I have a really cute scar from a tree I tried to climb ( I use the word climb very loosely) 

I don't know. It was just fun.

I think that's something we should all attempt to remember to do, sometimes. If we were meant to live, why don't we. Be free

Be foolish

Be an absolute freak.

I for one am not judging.

Adventures for the win <3 

 

The athlete

    "But you eat unhealthy"

     "But you don't always go the gym.."

      "But you work at a fast food store!"

Uhm. So? 

Yesterday was the first day of practice for rugby - and the first thing my roommate, Sarah , said was - "you drink too much soda , fat ass" (I may have shortened it a bit, but you get the idea.)

Sarah hasn't known me long - just over a couple months , and she has this tendency to make a ton of assumptions based on who she thinks I am. (As do a lot of my other roommates friends - they assume because they know her, they know me.)

Some times her assumptions are accurate, and sometimes they are just ignorant but, by any means, they are uncalled for, and unasked for. 

I love my roommate, despite our disagreements in aspects such as these - she and I get along great .

Anyways - moral of the story, I blew her away.

Everyone is built differently. Different talents, different traits, different body shapes.

I'm good at sports. I'm fast. I'm competitive as all get out. I have muscles on accident.  And I, TJ, am an ATHLETE.

Despite what I eat, where I work, and what I do in my free time: throw me on a field, give me a team and you've got yourself someone who will play to win every time. 

How many times in a day do you look at someone and judge who they are, and what they can or cannot do in life?

I'll be honest. I do it daily .

I look at people walking into certain buildings on campus and all I can think is "there's no way". (A girl who is a little heavier walking Into the dance building, a cheerleader walking into the neuroscience building, ect)

I know girls on my team that at a first glance no one would EVER guess they had a beast mode-

But I've witnessed it.

So why do we judge so quickly?

Why is it okay for us to be surprised that someone is capable of doing something because they LOOK like they shouldn't be?!

That heavier set girl is one of the best contemporary dancers I've ever witnessed , that cheerleader happens to be working a 4.0 Gpa for her full ride scholarship (that was completely based on academics) and my team mates, all of my teamates, kick ass.

One of the most dangerous things we can do, especially in college, is judge. 

We could be missing out.

Food for thought. #rantoftheday 

 

adventure starts here.

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"

 The question would ring through my ears, like a constant reminder of an answer i didn't have.

 I hate that question.

On the somewhat plausible chance that i grow up to be a homeless cat lady on the side of the road, i will make a list of everyone who EVER asked me what i wanted to be when i grow up and hobo shank each one with a pencil. (Not hard enough to cause some serious damage, but hard enough to leave a mark. )

So, obviously, i am kidding. Joking around, making a "haha" to lighten the mood. But my negative feelings on this question have not changed.

When asked that question, people assume what your answer will be. Maybe a gymnast, or a doctor, a teacher or a football player- when asked, a cliche answer is almost always expected.

Maybe i do not want to be cliche.

Maybe I WANT to escape peoples expectations.
Maybe I WANT to surprise the people i know.
Maybe I WANT to try something so far out there that a very limited number of people have succeeded.
Maybe I want to do something that is not taught in schools, or trained at a camp: something that cant be defined by a title, or explained in a career description.

The road not taken.

Do not get me wrong, I am not in to dramatics or story telling- i like to be straight forward and honest in all sense of the terms. If I do not like something, you know it. If i feel something, you will hear it. And for Gods sake if i think something, ill write a blog about it in true literary fashion. I am not trying to make the subject sound more exciting or drama-filled, i just type exactly how i feel.

And how i feel is this : We spend our whole lives trying to figure out exactly what we were born for. Every day people decide why they are alive, what they are meant to do, and who they are meant to be.

People say things like:
I am meant to save lives.
I am meant to paint.
I am meant to sing.
I am meant to play football.
I am meant to work a nine to five job.
I am meant to be a mom.
I am meant to be unhappy.
I am meant to be happy.

Well, I , TJ, am meant to LIVE.

It legitimately upsets me when people simplify all the successes in their lives to one thing, all their goals in life to one action... We forget that the one and only TRUE reason we were given life is to LIVE.

Remember that.
We are given life to LIVE.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE do not take this out of context. I do not mean party it up, YOLO, or any other strange popular phrases.

Life is gift, one that we can not take for granted. One in which we should be respectful, honest and kind. The term YOLO is not an excuse to cause damage, hurt others, lie, cheat, steal, or disrespect others-

I created this blog as i am starting college this year, and due to my strange ability to attract  the most random adventures, i expect this year to be full of epic tales and irrational happenings. Ones i plan on sharing through this page, weather read or not, these are mostly for me to remember.

This will be my adventure. My journey. My getting to where i want to go- or need to go.

Rumor has it that The best part of growing up is not being grown.

Id like to see for myself. (:

-TJ